The Seven Deadly Sins Go West - Translation Please!

 THE

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

GO WEST

Translation Please!

By Bob Allen

“But they that will be rich fall into temptations and a snare,”

I Timothy 6:9

“For the love of money is the root of all evil:”

I Timothy 6:10

Deadly Sin: Greed

CHARACTERS

            Rocky Rhodes,                                  – A western cowboy.

            D. D.  Berezskinitski                         -A robber of stagecoaches.

            The Translator                                  -A greedy volunteer.

SCENE

            A ONE-ROOM JAIL HOUSE.  ROCKY PUSHES A HANDCUFFED D. D. INTO THE CELL AND LOCKS THE DOOR.  THE TRANSLATOR FOLLOWS CLOSE BEHIND.

ROCKY:                     Cuff ‘em and stuff ‘em.  That’s the last stage you’ll rob for a long,                                      long time.

TRANSLATOR:        Good job, Rocky.  You’re getting this sheriff job down pat.

ROCKY:                     (SITS AT THE DESK TO START PAPER WORK)  Thanks for                                        helping me find him.  Now let’s get down to business.  I’m going                                        to need your name and last place of residence.

D.D.:                           Domber Dreski Berezskinitski.

ROCKY:                     Speak up.  I can’t hear you.

D.D:                            No English.  Hypi Yeodervaan.

ROCKY:                     I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

TRANSLATOR:        It’s not English, that’s for sure.

ROCKY:                     I know what he said.  I’m not deaf.

TRANSLATOR:        But I thought you said…

ROCKY:                     (CROSSES UP CLOSE TO THE BARSAND YELLS)                                                      So how do you rob stages if you can’t even speak English?  Is                                      some driver going to stop if you yell Hypi Hypi?

TRANSLATOR:        He had a gun.

ROCKY:                     (TURNS TO THE TRANSLATOR)  Right!  So I’m supposed to                                        tell the judge I don’t know his name and I don’t know how he                                      stopped the stage, but he had a gun.  Why is the paper work always                           the hardest part of this job?

TRANSLATOR:        Maybe I can help.  His name is D. D. Berezskinitski.

ROCKY:                     How did you know that?

TRANSLATOR:        It’s what he said when you asked for his name.

ROCKY:                     It is?  (STARTS TO WRITE)  How do you spell it?

TRANSLATOR:        D. D.

ROCKY:                     Got that.

TRANSLATOR:        B plus thirteen.

ROCKY:                     Right.  Can you get the rest of these questions answered?

TRANSLATOR:        I’ll give it a try.

ROCKY:                     (YELLS AT D.D.)  Did you rob the stage?

TRANSLATOR:        (MOVES NEAR THE BARS BUT AS FAR FROM ROCKY AS                                                 POSSIBLE AND MOTIONS FOR D.D. TO JOIN HIM)  Did you                                                rob the stage?

D.D.                            (STAGE WHISPER)  What are you doing?  I can’t understand                                           English, remember?  That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

TRANSLATOR:        Right.  But he doesn’t know that.  Give me an answer and I’ll give                                                 one to him.

D.D.                            (LOUDER)  Francerfriskenski.

TRANSLATOR:        He says he robbed the stage all right.  He’s your man.

ROCKY:                     Did you steal the strongbox with the monthly payroll for all the                                           miners?

TRANSLATOR:        Did you steal the strongbox with the payroll for all the miners?

D.D.                            Hendrick par schlitzen frennenen.

TRANSLATOR:        He says, “You bet your sweet life I stole the payroll.”

D.D.                            (STAGE WHISPER)  What are you doing?

TRANSLATOR:        (STAGE WHISPER)  Trust me.

ROCKY:                     Did you shoot the man riding shotgun?

TRANSLATOR:        Did you shoot the man riding shotgun?

D.D.                            (STAGE WHISPER)  Of course I did.  He already knows that.

TRANSLATOR:        (STAGE WHISPER)  Just answer the question.

D.D.                            Navro myele postumen.

TRANSLATOR:        Of course he did.  You already know that.

ROCKY:                     (STANDS.  PULLS HIS PISTOL AND WALKS OVER THE TO                                                THE BARS, AIMING THE GUN AT THE ROBBER)  He was my                                   best friend.  If you value your life you had better tell me where the                                            money is buried.

D.D.                            (STAGE WHISPER)  It’s behind my cabin at the edge of town.                                         Tell him, quick.

TRANSLATOR:        (STAGE WHISPER)   You have to tell me first.

D.D.                            (LOUDLY)  Cabinski.  Non catra essen.

TRANSLATOR:        (PULLS ROCKY AWAY FROM THE BARS AND BACK TO                                       THE DESK.)  He says he would rather die than tell you where the                                      money is hidden.

ROCKY:                     (STARTS BACK TOWARD THE BARS WITH THE PISTOL                                         POINTED AT D.D.)  He would, huh!

D.D.                            No.  That’s not what I said.  Don’t shoot.  They money is buried                                         behind my cabin.  It’s all there.  I haven’t even opened the box.

ROCKY:                     (LOOKING CLOSELY AT HIS PISTOL)  Wow!  Didn’t know a                                                 pistol could be such a good English teacher.  It’s better than the                                          Berlitz system.

TRANSLATOR         (TRYING TO SNEAK OUT THE DOOR.)  Guess he changed his                                                 mind.  You won’t be needing me any more.

ROCKY:                     (POINTS PISTOL AT TRANSLATOR)  Just a cotton-pickin’                                            minute.  I think you two are in cahoots.

D.D.                            No way.  He was going to let you kill me to get the money for                                             himself.

ROCKY:                     Greed will get you every time.   In that case he’d better join you in                                                 that there cell.  The judge is going to want to hear about this.                                               (USES THE PISTOL TO FORCE THE TRANSLATOR                                                             TOWARD THE CELL DOOR.)

TRANSLATOR:        Don’t put me in there.  He’ll kill me.

D.D.                            What did you just try to do to me?  You just wanted the money.                                         You would have let him kill me for the money.  (GRABS                                                            TRANSLATOR BY THE THROAT AND STARTS TO CHOKE                                             HIM.)

TRANSLATOR:        You’re the one who stole the money.  Help.  He’s going to kill me.

R0CKY:                      (PUTTING THE TRANSLATOR INTO THE CELL)  Shut up,                                          both of you.    If you kill each other you’ll just save us the cost of a                                     trial.  (WALKING TOWARD THE FRONT DOOR.)  I’ll be back                                            with the judge.  Have fun.

THE END

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Why is greed considered to be a deadly sin?
2. When greed does not lead to death, can it still be considered deadly?
3. What motivates a greedy person to the place where he or she is willing to kill in order to increase wealth?
4. Why does I Timothy 6:9 describe the result of greed as a snare?
5. What other desires could motivate a greedy person besides money?
6. I Timothy 6:10 says that greed forms the basis for all evil.  How does greed lead to other sins besides murder?
7. Why did Rocky leave to find a judge instead of going to claim the money which had been hidden?
8. How does greed destroy friendship?
9. What biblical principles enable a person to gain the victory over greed?

The Seven Deadly Sins Go West - The Pretender

THE

SEVEN DEADLY SINS GO WEST

The Pretender

By Bob Allen

“He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife.”  (Proverbs 28:25)

“Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

 (Proverbs 16:18)

Deadly Sin: Pride

CHARACTERS

            Rocky Rhodes                                   – A western cowboy.

            Samantha Rider                                - Rocky’s long-time sweetheart.

            The Greenhorn                                 - A young pretender, full of his own importance

           

SCENE

            AN OLD FASHIONED ICE CREAM PARLOR WITH A TABLE AND TWO CHAIRS.  UPSTAGE IS A COUNTER WITH BAR STOOLS.  ROCKY AND SAMANTHA ARE SEATED AT THE TABLE SHARING A SODA WITH TWO STRAWS.

SAMANTHA:                        Rocky, dearest.  Would you buy me a frosty Root Beer to wash                                          down this delicious malt shake?

ROCKY:                     Anything you wish, darling.  (ROCKY STANDS AND MOVES                                       OVER TO THE COUNTER WITH HIS BACK TO THE                                                   TABLE.)

GREENHORN:          (ENTERS AND MAKES HIS WAY DIRECTLY TO THE                                                            CHAIR WHERE ROCKY HAD BEEN SITTING. DROPS THE                                      BURLAP SACK HE IS CARRYING ON THE FLOOR AND                                               SITS DOWN.)  Well, well you pretty little filly.  I see you been                                           saving a place just for me. And a right smart choice.  I just happen                                                 to be the best looking dude in this entire territory.

SAMANTHA:                        No, really?

GREENHORN:          (WAVING TOWARD ROCKY AT THE COUNTER)  Hey,                                             waiter, how about some service?  (TO SAMANTHA)  That’s right,                                     little lady.  You don’t know what pleasure is until you’ve had the pleasure of my company.

ROCKY:                     (BRINGS SAMANTHA’S ROOT BEER TO THE TABLE.)

                                    Did you want to order something, sir?

GREENHORN:          Not yet.  But I’m thinking about it. I’m thinking about it. You just                                      mind your own business.  You don’t want to tangle with the                                               greatest cowboy west of the Rio Grande.

SAMANTHA:                        Don’t you mean north of the Rio Grande?

GREENHORN:          Did they change the direction of that confounded interstate again?

ROCKY:                     (RETURNS TO COUNTER AND LEANS AGAINST IT.)  The                                        greatest, huh?

GREENHORN:          You heard of Wyatt the Kid, Roy Earp and Billy Rogers?  City                                          slickers.  All of them.

ROCKY:                     Nope!  Never heard of them.

GREENHORN:          Well, then.  You heard of Rocky Rhodes? 

SAMANTHA:                        That’s him right….

ROCKY:                     (CUTTING HER OFF)  Yeah, reckon I have heard of him once or                                      twice.

GREENHORN:          Yeah!  Well, everyone says he’s the greatest.  But they don’t know                                     what side of the bedroll has butter on it.  You ever hear that story                                       about him and the rattlesnake?

SAMANTHA:                        You mean the time Rocky grabbed a rattler by the tail to keep it                                          from striking his girl? The time he got bit right on the arm to save                                        her and almost lost his life? 

GREENHORN:          Yah, something like that.  Well, that was nothing.  See this bag                                           here?  (PICKS UP THE BURLAP BAG.)  Inside this bag are three                                                of the biggest diamondback rattlers this side of the Alps.

SAMANTHA:                       (SLIDES HER CHAIR AWAY FROM THE TABLE.)  And just                                      what do you plan to do with them?

GREENHORN:          Demonstrate my greatness!  If Rocky Rhodes could handle one                                          snake, I can handle three.

ROCKY:                     (STARTS TOWARD THE TABLE TO PROTECT                                                              SAMANTHA.)  I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

GREENHORN:          Right.  You probably know that pretender Rhodes and want to talk                                                me out of this here little demonstration to protect his precious                                              reputation.

ROCKY:                     No, I just think you don’t understand the risk you’re taking.

SAMANTHA:                        Listen to him.  For your own sake.

GREENHORN:          Understand?  I invented Risk.  Risk is my middle name.  Risk is                                         my first name. Risk is my last name.  Risk is my nickname.  Risk                                               is my given name.  Risk Risk Risk Risk Risk.  (REACHES                                                     INTO THE BAG AND GRABS SOMETHING.)

ROCKY:                     (GRABBING SAMANTHA AND PULLING HER AWAY                                             FROM THE TABLE.)  Please, you don’t have to do this.

GREENHORN:          You can’t stop me.  I’m the greatest.  (DROPS THE BAG.)  Oh,                                        I’ve been bit.

ROCKY:                     (QUICKLY TIES OFF THE BAG AND TURNS TO HELP THE                                                 GREENHORN.)        We can take care of it.  Don’t panic.  If you                                      run it will spread the poison. 

GREENHORN:          Poison?  Panic?  (RUNS OFF STAGE SHOUTING.)  Help!  Help!                                    I’ve been bit.  Help!  Help!

SAMANTHA:                        I always wondered why they called pride a deadly sin.

The End

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Why is pride considered a deadly sin?
2. What does pride cause people to do which they would not otherwise consider doing?
3. Why do you think the Greenhorn called Rocky a pretender?
4. Why does Proverbs 28:25 say that pride stirs up strife?
5. Why did the Greenhorn’s pride fail to stir up strife in Rocky?
6. What inherent quality in pride always leads to a fall according to Proverbs 16:18?
7. Can you give an example from your own experience how pride leads to destruction?
8. How does the fact that pride precedes destruction help in understanding why pride is a deadly sin?
9. What attitude toward others will always accompany a prideful spirit?
10. What is the best way to be of help to a person overcome by pride?
11. How can a person begin to conquer a prideful spirit in his or her own life?