Justice Is Served - The Parable of the Unjust Judge

JUSTICE IS SERVED

By Bob Allen

Based on the parable of the Unjust Judge – Luke 18:1-8

CHARACTERS

                                    Sylvester Hiram Percy            Lawyer

                                    Priscilla Gunther                     Secretary

                                    Harriet Anthony                      Widow

Synopsis:         Sylvester Percy may be the greatest lawyer in town, but he is not about to represent a poor widow who faces eviction.  Only through her extreme persistence is she able to convince him that it is in his own best interest to see that justice is served on her behalf.

Costumes:       Percy and Gunther are dressed for a day at the office.  Anthony must change quickly into the various disguises she uses.  Keep them simple.  A succession of hats should be sufficient to accomplish the quick changes.

Set:      The scene takes place in Percy’s upscale, downtown legal headquarters.  A desk and desk chair with at least one formal chair for the seating of clients decorate the room.

Time:   The present.

PERCY:                      Gunther.  Take a letter.

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      To the chief justice of the Supreme Court: Your recent session has convinced me of the truth of those immortal words, “A fool is born every minute.”  Add the source of that quote, Gunther.

GUNTHER:                P. T. Barnum, sir.

PERCY:                      Right.  I don’t fathom how nine of them could rise to such heights of incompetence during one short period of history.

GUNTHER:                Nine Barnum’s, sir?

PERCY:                      Nine fools.  The letter, Gunther, the letter.

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      You will find enclosed herewith a case by case summary of the entire session explaining precisely where your reasoning went awry and how to correct such faulty argumentation in the future.  Sincerely yours, Sylvester Hiram Percy, Esquire.  I want nine copies ready for my signature in five minutes, Gunther.

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.  (Exits and immediately enters.)

GUNTHER:                Mr. Percy?

PERCY:                      Did I call?

GUNTHER:                No, sir.  There’s a Harriet Anthony here to see you.

PERCY:                      Does she have an appointment?

GUNTHER:                No, sir.  But she says it’s a matter of great importance.

PERCY:                      It’s always a matter of great importance.  Send her away.

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.  (Exits)

PERCY:                      Gunther?

ANTHONY:               (Enters)  Good morning, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      You’re not Gunther.

ANTHONY:               Of course not.  I’m Mrs. Harriet Anthony.

GUNTHER:                I told her…

PERCY:                      Get her out of here.

ANTHONY:               But you have to help me.

PERCY:                      I have to help you?

ANTHONY:               I was told you are the best lawyer in town.

PERCY:                      Bar none.  But I have a speech to prepare for the American Agnostic Union.  A speech barring God from the political arena.  If I won’t even help him, how do you expect me to help you?           

ANTHONY:               I’m desperate, sir.  My landlord is trying to evict me and the children.  I have no place to go.

PERCY:                      Gunther—get her out of here.

ANTHONY:               We’ll be out on the street if you don’t help us.

PERCY:                      There’s no way I’m going to take the case of someone who can’t even pay her rent.  How would you ever pay my fees?  Out!  Out!  Out!

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.  (Ushers Anthony out the door.)

PERCY:                      Gunther?  Have you finished that letter yet?

GUNTHER:                Not really, sir.  The interruption…

PERCY:                      There are a dozen girls down in the secretarial pool who would love to have your job.  Nice office, congenial boss..

GUNTHER:                Yes, sir.  I’ll get on it right away.

ANTHONY:               (Enters disguised as the cleaning lady.)  Good morning, Priscilla.

GUNTHER:                Good morning.

PERCY:                      It’s about time you got here.  I sent for someone to empty my wastebasket two hours ago.

ANTHONY:               Right, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      Don’t forget to shred the contents first.

ANTHONY:               Right, Mr. Percy.  Can’t have anyone reading those important memos about the Anthony case?

PERCY:                      Anthony case?

ANTHONY:               The landlord who is throwing that poor woman and her children out into the street.  A very important case you know.

PERCY:                      Gunther!

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      Get this imposter out of here.  I will not take her case.  Absolutely, positively not.  Never!  Never!  Never!

ANTHONY:               But your wastebasket, sir.

PERCY:                      Get your hands off my waste paper.  Gunther, get her out of here.

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.  (Pushes Anthony out and re-enters.)  Your letters are ready, sir.

ANTHONY:               (Appears at the window and mouths silently)  Help me!

GUNTHER:                Excuse me, sir.

PERCY:                      What is it now, Gunther?

GUNTHER:                There’s someone at the window, sir.

PERCY:                      That’s impossible.  We’re nineteen stories up.

GUNTHER:                I think the window washer needs help, sir.  May I open the window?

PERCY:                      Absolutely not.  This reeks of a liability suit.  Don’t even look at the window.

ANTHONY:               Help!

GUNTHER:                What’s wrong?  Is your rope breaking?  (Opens window.)

ANTHONY:               No, my landlord is evicting me and my children are going to have to live on the street…

PERCY:                      Gunther, shut that window. 

GUNTHER:                I’m trying to sir.

PERCY:                      I won’t help her.

GUNTHER:                You’ll have to help me, sir.

ANTHONY:               Help me, sir.  You just have to.

GUNTHER:                Help me, sir.  I can’t get it shut.

PERCY:                      Never!  Definitely not!  I wouldn’t take your case if it were sold to the movies.

GUNTHER:                She’s gone, sir.

PERCY:                      I wonder who they would get to play me if it were sold to the movies.  Sir Laurence Olivier?  No, he’s dead.  Have those copies of my speech arrived from the printer yet?

ANTHONY:               (Enters disguised as a delivery boy.)  Special delivery for Sylvester Hiram Percy, Esquire.

PERCY:                      It’s about time.  Take them Gunther.

ANTHONY:               (To Gunther)  Are you Sylvester Hiram Percy, Esquire?

GUNTHER:                Well, no, I’m…

ANTHONY:               I’m afraid I’ll have to have the signature of Mr. Percy.  Business practice you know.

PERCY:                      I’m Percy.  Where do I sign?

ANTHONY:               Right here, sir.  Just ignore the small print.

PERCY:                      Wait a minute.  I’m a lawyer.  I should always read the small print.  Wouldn’t want to sign my life away.

ANTHONY:               That’s exactly what you did, sir.  You just agreed to represent Mrs. Harriet Anthony in her upcoming trial.  See you in court.

PERCY:                      Gunther.  Grab that paper.

GUNTHER:                But I have the papers, sir.

PERCY:                      The paper in her hand.  It was a trick.

GUNTHER:                Got it, sir.  (Anthony exits.)

PERCY:                      Good job, Gunther.  That woman is the most persistent thing I’ve met since tooth decay.

GUNTHER:                Why don’t you just help her, sir?

PERCY:                      Don’t be absurd.  I wouldn’t help that woman if she turned out to be the first lady.

GUNTHER:                I don’t suppose anyone would try to evict the first lady, sir.

PERCY:                      Exactly.  My point exactly.  Now bring those speeches here.  I want to see my masterpiece of agnosticism.  (Phone rings)  Hello?

My wife?  I don’t have a wife.  No!  Absolutely not!  Never!  Never!  Never!  Gunther!

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      Call me a cab.  I’ll go over to the banquet early.  She’ll never find me there.

ANTHONY:               (Disguised as a telephone repairman.)  Excuse me, sir.  But we received word that you are having trouble with your telephone.

PERCY:                      Suit yourself.  I’m getting out of here.

ANTHONY:               Really, sir?  Important case coming up in court?

PERCY:                      No, as a matter of fact I’m proving that God does not exist at a banquet this afternoon.  I’m going over early to get away from…Gunther!

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      Out!  Out!  Out!  Out!  Out!

ANTHONY:               I’m prepared to make it worth your time, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      You’ve stolen my time already.  I should have you arrested for disturbing the peace.

ANTHONY:               Then you would have to go to court with me anyway, Mr. Percy, so you might was well go as my lawyer.

PERCY:                      Gunther!  I’m going to do something rash.

ANTHONY:               I’m registered as a caddy on your golf course.

GUNTHER:                Please, Mr. Percy.

ANTHONY:               I’ve joined your bowling league.

PERCY:                      Gunther.  Get her out of my way.

ANTHONY:               The maitre’d at your favorite restaurant is my brother-in-law. 

PERCY:                      Gunther!

ANTHONY:               Your reserved seats at the Cubs game are right next to mine.

PERCY:                      No, not the Cubbies.  You win.  I’ll take the case.

ANTHONY:               Oh, thank you sir.  You won’t be sorry.

PERCY:                      I’m already sorry.  Gunther.

GUNTHER:                Yes, Mr. Percy.

PERCY:                      Set up an appointment for this woman for first thing tomorrow morning.  We might as well get it over with early.

ANTHONY:               I’ll be here, Mr. Percy.  Bright and early.  You don’t know how much this means to me.  (Exits)

PERCY:                      Whew!  Relief at last.  I can’t believe that woman’s persistence.  Who does she think I am?  God?

GUNTHER:                To tell you the truth, sir.  I don’t think that thought ever crossed her mind.

THE END