The Fruit of the Spirit Goes West - Good News, Bad News

THE

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT

GOES WEST

GOOD NEWS—BAD NEWS

By Bob Allen

“The fruit of the Spirit is…joy.” (Galatians 5:22)

CHARACTERS

Rocky Rhodes                          – A true-blue, rootin’-tootin’

Western cowboy.

                        Lefty Wright                                      - A cowhand

                       

                       

SCENE

            Rocky and Lefty have been out riding fence and are settling down for the night in their bedrolls beside the campfire.

LEFTY:         (SINGING)  “Where the skies are not cloudy all day.”

ROCKY:        Home on the range.  That’s good news, my friend.

LEFTY:         No, that’s bad news.  Means the temperature will probably drop                                   below freezing tonight.

ROCKY:        But we have a blazing campfire.  That’s good news.

LEFTY:         No, that’s bad news.  Someone will have to get up in the middle of the                           night to feed it.

ROCKY:        Nah.  We’ll just scrunch down in our bedrolls.  That’s good news.

LEFTY:         That’s bad news.  The rocks will seem twice as big come morning.

ROCKY:        That’ll give us a reason to get up early and go to work.  Good                                        news.

LEFTY:         Bad news.  An early start will make the day seem even longer.

ROCKY:        But tomorrow night we’ll be back in our own beds.  Good news.

LEFTY:         For you maybe.  Bad news for me.  Have you ever slept in a                                           bunkhouse with seven other cowboys who only take a bath on                                               Saturday night?

ROCKY:        Good news.  Tomorrow is Saturday.

LEFTY:         Bad news.  I’ll have to take a bath.

ROCKY:        (HOLDING HIS NOSE.)  Good news!

LEFTY:         Oh, no.  That’s bad news.  If I get cleaned up Sue will want me to take              her on a date.

ROCKY:        That’s good news.  She’s a sweetheart.

LEFTY:         That’s bad news.  If I take her on a date she’ll be wanting a goodnight              kiss.

ROCKY:        That’s good news.    I’ll bet she’s a good kisser.

LEFTY:         The best!  But that’s bad news.  If I kiss her once more, I’ll probably                            propose.

ROCKY:        Good news.  We’ll have a wedding right there on the ranch.

LEFTY:         Bad news.  I’ll have to build a house.

ROCKY:        That’s good news.  You’ve always wanted a log cabin up on the hill.

LEFTY:         Sure.  But the bad news is that she will insist on inside plumbing.

ROCKY:        That’s good news.  No more freezing trips to the outhouse.

LEFTY:         Bad news.  No more leaving the toilet seat up.

ROCKY:        I didn’t know the outhouse had toilet seats?

LEFTY:         It doesn’t, and that’s really bad news.

ROCKY:        Can I ask you something?

LEFTY:         Good?  Or bad?

ROCKY:        That depends.  Have you ever been happy?

LEFTY:         Can’t say that I have.

ROCKY:        That’s really bad news.

LEFTY:         No, that’s good news.  If Sue made me happy, and then I lost her, that                          would really be bad news. 

ROCKY:        So the more good news you get, the more bad news you figure you’re                           gonna get.

LEFTY:         Right.  (PAUSE, THEN STARTS SINGING.)  “Where never is heard                                     a discouraging word…”

ROCKY:        The fellow who wrote that song had obviously never met you.